Tips for Women

1. H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says: “Women can glue the differences and bring people of diverse nature together.” According to me, this quality is inherent in her and makes it easier for her to create and maintain team spirit.
This strength of a woman needs to be recognized. The moral values she imparts to her children, the support that she provides to the family, all these really matter. They say women are emotional. However, this is the aspect which makes her gentle, soft and feminine. The delicate nature of a woman allows her to create an environment of peace and harmony wherever she goes.
The balance of delicate nature and a practical approach can happen only in a stress-free mind. In order to be stress-free, one adopts spirituality, which is the foundation for the complete blossoming of the individual potential.

2. Women love team spirit. They love to gossip – so instead of gossiping about people, gossip on nature. Ask each other, why are there such few leaves on the tree, why are the clouds so small, how is this flower so big? Don’t focus on individuals.

3. Women are normally more emotional while men have a greater ego. The woman is emotionally attached to her family, her brother, sisters, parents etc. The husband should never criticize the wife’s family. The wife, on the other hand, should always praise the husband, especially in front of others, even if what he does may not be so intelligent. When the wife takes care of the husband’s ego and the husband takes care of the wife’s emotions, then the relationship can be a more pleasant one.

4. Marriage is a commitment. It is a commitment for caring and sharing – sharing one’s life and caring for the other.  It is the union of two hearts towards one goal. When the husband and wife are focusing only on each other, then very soon there are arguments and disagreements. When our goals are high, when we are focused on something bigger, towards serving society, towards wisdom, then the husband and wife can move together, supporting each other, in this beautiful journey of life.

5.Whenever you feel pressurised, don’t talk about it too much. Keep quiet for ten minutes and be with yourself. In busy moment, keep maunam. If people at home know you are in silence, then the demands on you will lessen. Otherwise, in a fit of anger, you will speak anything. I would say, this is especially important for a mother/wife/sister - be silent and work. Talk less, smile more. Every night, before sleeping, go through the day for ten minutes. Think what were the good events? What did you learn today? Surrender everything to the divine. Say everything is because of you and go to sleep with a smile. Smile more – it is our nature.

6. Praise at least five people every day. Praising is a divine quality. Praising enhances us. It uplifts the consciousness of the one who is being praised and also of the one who is praising. When we see a beautiful painting and we praise it, whom does the praise go to? The painter, isn’t it? So when we praise each other, who does the praise go to? Of course, it goes to the divine who created us! Keeping this in mind, let us appreciate the divinity in all aspects of creation and we will find that our mind is also pleasant and uplifted.

7. Help at least two people every day – either by talking to them and doing something for them. Help people physically, mentally by listening to them or even monetarily. Helping people will uplift you. Choose people whom you don’t know so that you can reach out to more and more people and extend your family. When each woman can extend her sense of belongingness, include a few more members in her family, then we move closer to our ancient ideal of a one world family, “vasudhaiva kutumbakam.”

8. We normally think that women empowerment is for the monetarily less fortunate. I would say, this is not the case. They are equally less fortunate who are impoverished emotionally, who are spiritually poor.
There are many educated and monetarily independent women facing emotional challenges, who cannot handle their life or stressful situations. Often, suicides are a result of these emotional imbalances. This is common especially among the educated and affluent society.
When we are emotionally weak, we catch on to negativity more easily. So, to nourish one’s soul, one needs to turn to Spirituality. Meditation alone can put you in a space that is unshakable and you can view life from a balanced angle.

9. When you talk about spirituality, we should remember one thing – that the spirit has no gender - male or female. When you raise above all this – caste, creed, religion and other small identities, only then can the true spirit blossom in you.
We work as one unit. Man is equally important as a woman. When we say women empowerment it doesn’t mean we exclude men. We are only highlighting women as that area needs attention. Today women can equal men by just being assertive, not aggressive. Women can make a difference – in politics, business, education, spirituality' and at home.
I would say: Don’t ask what others can do for you. Instead think what you can do for others. This is called the spiritual shift – believe me, it is simply beautiful, it is unalloyed joy itself!

10. Gurudev poojya Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji often says that a woman is a born leader.
A leader must have certain qualities.
A leader must have trust and also be trustworthy. Only then can she delegate successfully and also get the work done on time.
A leader must have foresight. The lady of the house plans everything from the daily needs of the house to saving money for the daughter’s wedding. (Budgeting and managing finances is in her blood.)
A leader must have equanimous - unbiased vision. As a mother, a woman places the needs of every member of the family before her own and she cares for all with equal love.
A leader must seek the truth in every situation. Her impact ranges from the family to the whole society. Her decisions must be a combination of intelligence and her intuition. A woman naturally relates to the heart level which is realm of intuition. A calm state of mind can contribute to the intuitive factor while it can be strengthened by spiritual practices like meditation and yoga.
A leader must also have faith in the universal intelligence that nourishes the whole creation. Faith is a very powerful quality and can connect to the heart of the people.
We can see that all these qualities are innate in us as women. However as a teacher of meditation, I can say for sure that these qualities blossom to their full potential when you meditate. Spirituality really makes the difference in your quality of consciousness, quality of enjoyment and quality of appreciation of life.

11. What is the true wealth/ornament for a woman? What is her true beauty? How can she beautify existence with them?
There are three aspects to beauty: Saundarya, Madhurya and Aishwarya.
Aishwarya is wealth and lordship. One may seem to have lordship through fear or power due to position but they are not pleasant. Lordship that comes out of love and respect has a different dimension to it. It is a true wealth in any relationship.
Madhurya is sweetness - sweetness in thought, word and action. It is our nature to be madhur, in a pleasant state of mind. When we are stress-free and centered that sweetness comes to us.
Saundarya is the beauty that comes from inner strength. This inner strength is brought out through spirituality and meditation.

Something more about Women and Bhanu Didi

The Case for Nonviolence

The series of shootings that America has witnessed over the last few years are very unfortunate. They have left the world shocked, the most recent one being the Connecticut shooting.

When we ponder on how we can avoid incidents like this, the very first thing that comes to mind is that weapons must not be so easily available to people. A recent ABC news report indicates that there are more gun retail stores than grocery stores in the US. When we have not provided education in non-violence or equipped with tools to control their aggression, we cannot afford to have so many gun stores making it easy to pursue deadly acts of violence.

Aggression can occur in anybody; it is quite natural. But one should be taught how to handle that aggressive tendency in a healthier way. We need to teach our kids how to handle their negative emotions. This is a necessity today.

I have my reservations about the impact that violent video games have on young minds. If children are used to shooting people on the screen, and killing is just a game, they could get immune and insensitive to acts of violence. It becomes difficult for them to develop a sense of respect toward life; anybody else's or even their own. The young man behind this latest incident shot his own mother and then at strangers, before shooting himself. When video games, TV and movies glorify violence, they make such a strong impression on young minds that playing out those violent scenarios can turn into an aspiration for them. Without proper attention and guidance, children may not as easily distinguish between the real and virtual worlds, and therefore may not fully understand the consequences of their actions. It is appalling to think that the violence on screen (TV or video) could spill over into families and classrooms.

It is shocking to hear that the young man behind this incident was a shy and intelligent student with no obvious symptoms of violent tendencies. Before we are quick to blame such people as culprits, let us not forget to see the victims inside them. Potential causes of aggression in young minds could be broken families and hostile environments, limited awareness about their own mindsets, lack of much needed emotional support, and most of all, lack of education in universal human values. The shooter was reportedly good at academics, but his fragile emotional state led him to an act of insanity. To me, education is not just about imparting information to children but ensuring well-rounded development so that they can grow to be caring and responsible adults.

One impact of increased time spent in the virtual world is that children might not get enough physical exercise. They have more energy than grown ups do but if that energy is not channeled properly at the physical level, it goes deeper within and then finds its way out through extreme emotional outbursts. This link may not be very apparent but physical exercise is also related to emotional well being. Even when they are babies, we do not let them cry enough, and shut them up by putting pacifiers in their mouths. A little bit of crying is healthy for babies; it is good exercise for their lungs and helps them to express themselves. In fact, crying once in a while is very good even for adults.

Apart from teaching techniques to handle stress and aggression, we also need to place the ideals that are worth aspiring for before our children. There is a need to instill pride in being peaceful. For this, we must inculcate an attitude of service from a very young age. If young adults learn the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from helping others, they will experience depth and meaning to their understanding of life and they will be more likely to stay away from senseless violence.

One of our not for profit organizations, the International Association for Human Values (IAHV) conducted a week-long nonviolence education program, called YES!, in a Chicago public school (Walt Disney Magnet School), to 612 students which reduced school suspensions from 252 in the previous school year to 82 suspensions.

During the last eight years, 36,427 students have participated in the YES! Program in 123 schools in 26 school districts in 14 states (California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Texas, Washington State, Wisconsin and Washington, D.C.) Similar programs have been conducted in Canada, Europe, and Asia as well. The testimonies of these students, teachers and the principals speak about their transformation and in no uncertain terms indicate the need of such education.

This life is a very precious gift from God. It holds infinite possibilities, and can become a fountain of joy and happiness. The role of education is to nurture human values in children so that they are able to make life a celebration, not a tragedy.

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